Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
people are starting to question the shark bite story
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
