My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Come share oat with me in your robe
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
