how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
