ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
