I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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