I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
