2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
