He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i barfeds in our rink
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
