Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
