My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
