Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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