I cockslap morals
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
