my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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