How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
