the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
