This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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