Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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