she was so not down for the gang bang
Define "chronic" masturbator.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
