i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
