is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
