He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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