Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
