My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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