Your dad touched me again.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
