The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
