My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
