do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
