I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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