you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
