tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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