You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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