I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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