We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
