fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
