Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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