haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Randomize
