you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
