so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
