We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
