afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
