please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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