Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
