They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
