The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
