when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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