Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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