Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
time to smoke my breakfast
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
