Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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