Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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