Little spoons don't ask big questions
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
